Do You Accept The good Stuff?Posted: April 29, 2013
On my birthday, I was listening to people say nice things about me, and feeling embarrassed. I sat on the stage with my arms crossed over my solar plexus, until I consciously spread them open into an accepting position.
Do you have difficulty accepting compliments? I do sometimes. In truth, I’ve spent 25 years teaching people what I still need to learn.
Opening up and accepting more Good into our lives is what we teach in Science of Mind. We know that God gives us what we envision, believe and accept. God is Love, working through Spiritual Law. God says yes to our clear-cut acceptance and that is how the Law of Attraction works.
We learn to be more attractive to the Good in life as we understand and use these concepts. We learn to change our thinking and change our lives. We desire love and so we must learn to believe we are lovable. We switch our belief in “not enough” to one of abundance and discover there is plenty.
It may take time but gradually, we change our minds and we begin to understand and use the Law of Attraction in our daily lives. We monitor our thinking and our behavior. That’s a good thing if we remember to love ourselves even as we are learning. It is counter-productive to be self-critical. When I discovered my arms were in a position of rejection, I laughed and opened up. I didn’t shame myself because that wouldn’t help. Laughing about being human and loving myself anyway works joyously.
If we can love ourselves while we are learning, we’ll do better and learn faster. Everyone learns more in an atmosphere of love than an atmosphere of shame. Eventually, we will all know that God is love and we live, move, and have our being in God. The appreciation and love we desire is always there, not just on birthdays.
One of the favorite names that Dr. Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science, used for God was Divine Givingness. I also use Divine Givingness in my prayers and talks because the name is the Truth about God.
Some people find the belief we can have whatever we can imagine, believe and accept very shocking. They are accustomed to teachings that glorify suffering. However, the Master Teacher, Jesus, taught the same thing in his work.
Many of the parables in the New Testament teach that we can have what we can accept. Isn’t that the point of the story about the widow who had a teeny bit of oil until her she opened up to the gifts of Spirit? She was able to fill all her vessels until they ran over.
What about the story of the servants who start with the same amount of gold and handle it so differently? Didn’t they get what they believed? Aren’t most of the miracle stories in the New Testament dependent on the recipient’s acceptance? Didn’t Jesus say, “Your faith has healed you”?
It seems to me the New Testament is full of messages about acceptance as well as having faith in God’s goodness, forgiveness and love.
I’m not a Bible scholar but I do know the writings of Ernest Holmes. He is very clear that we can have what we can envision, believe and accept. As a Science of Mind student and teacher. I have seen that demonstrated on a daily basis for many years. I have seen “miraculous” physical healings, amazing financial progress, lovely relationships started and others repaired. I believe this stuff works with all my heart.
And yet, for a moment on that platform, I was a child again, blushing because I was getting too much attention and it wasn’t ‘nice” just to enjoy it. I am not alone. Many people have difficulty accepting compliments and other nice things because they learned things very early that discouraged acceptance of praise. They were shamed or blamed or whatever. It really doesn’t matter – what matters is that we can change our thinking and change our lives.
In workshops, I like to help people increase their self-esteem by paying attention and accepting compliments. I teach them to never throw a compliment back by saying, “You must be crazy!” or “This old dress? I bought it at the Thrift Shop for a dollar.” Instead, they learn to smile and say, “Thank you.”
A wonderful exercise is to pay attention and repeat the compliment gracefully in your own words. For example, “Thanks, I’m glad you liked the report, I worked hard on it.” Or, “Thanks, I like this also. Blue is my favorite color.” Keep it natural and easy. Try to resist returning a compliment with a compliment because it makes the giver seem to have been fishing for compliments himself. It is also a common way to deflect your receptivity.
The good thing about repeating a compliment in your own words is that it helps the giver feel heard, understood and appreciated. It also helps you embed the good stuff in your brain and heart because, most of all, we believe our own voices. When we repeat a compliment we receive, we give ourselves a double whammy of joy. We also please the giver.
Accepting and keeping the compliment gives pleasure to both the giver and receiver. Rejecting the compliment makes the giver feel silly or disappointed. It’s like receiving a bouquet of flowers and throwing them in the trash. Not a good move if you want to receive more flowers.
I used to have major self-esteem issues and I learned several tricks that helped me put the Law of Attraction to work in my life. I kept a compliment diary for a while. I also kept letters and cards from readers and church people to reread and enjoy on my foggy days. You could do that with your birthday and Christmas cards also.
Are you accepting or rejecting the nice things people say about you? Are you even noticing the compliments? Your journal can help you discover any reasons you might be rejecting them. Knowledge can be helpful but remember that no matter what happened in the past, you are in charge today.
Even if you learned that attention was dangerous then, you are no longer a child and it can be pleasurable now. You are the sole architect of your life, working with inexorable spiritual laws. You are powerful and you are loved – all the time.
Once you discover that the Love of God is working through Law, your history of abuse will atrophy. Self-esteem issues become nonsense. No matter how difficult the past was, you can have joy today. Learning to accept compliments and other good things because you are using the Power of the Universe is a key concept that truly can change your life.
Dare to retrain your mind! Dare to dream! Dare to choose joy! Dare to open to the Good! Dare to be happy! Dare to be your best self!
Do I accept compliments well?
How’s my self-esteem?
Do I want to attract more good?
Is there any suggestion here that I will try?
Should I take a class in Love and Law?