On my birthday, I was listening to people say nice things about me, and feeling embarrassed. I sat on the stage with my arms crossed over my solar plexus, until I consciously spread them open into an accepting position.
Do you have difficulty accepting compliments? I do sometimes. In truth, I’ve spent 25 years teaching people what I still need to learn.
Opening up and accepting more Good into our lives is what we teach in Science of Mind. We know that God gives us what we envision, believe and accept. God is Love, working through Spiritual Law. God says yes to our clear-cut acceptance and that is how the Law of Attraction works.
We learn to be more attractive to the Good in life as we understand and use these concepts. We learn to change our thinking and change our lives. We desire love and so we must learn to believe we are lovable. We switch our belief in “not enough” to one of abundance and discover there is plenty.
It may take time but gradually, we change our minds and we begin to understand and use the Law of Attraction in our daily lives. We monitor our thinking and our behavior. That’s a good thing if we remember to love ourselves even as we are learning. It is counter-productive to be self-critical. When I discovered my arms were in a position of rejection, I laughed and opened up. I didn’t shame myself because that wouldn’t help. Laughing about being human and loving myself anyway works joyously.
If we can love ourselves while we are learning, we’ll do better and learn faster. Everyone learns more in an atmosphere of love than an atmosphere of shame. Eventually, we will all know that God is love and we live, move, and have our being in God. The appreciation and love we desire is always there, not just on birthdays.
One of the favorite names that Dr. Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science, used for God was Divine Givingness. I also use Divine Givingness in my prayers and talks because the name is the Truth about God.
Some people find the belief we can have whatever we can imagine, believe and accept very shocking. They are accustomed to teachings that glorify suffering. However, the Master Teacher, Jesus, taught the same thing in his work.
Many of the parables in the New Testament teach that we can have what we can accept. Isn’t that the point of the story about the widow who had a teeny bit of oil until her she opened up to the gifts of Spirit? She was able to fill all her vessels until they ran over.
What about the story of the servants who start with the same amount of gold and handle it so differently? Didn’t they get what they believed? Aren’t most of the miracle stories in the New Testament dependent on the recipient’s acceptance? Didn’t Jesus say, “Your faith has healed you”?
It seems to me the New Testament is full of messages about acceptance as well as having faith in God’s goodness, forgiveness and love.
I’m not a Bible scholar but I do know the writings of Ernest Holmes. He is very clear that we can have what we can envision, believe and accept. As a Science of Mind student and teacher. I have seen that demonstrated on a daily basis for many years. I have seen “miraculous” physical healings, amazing financial progress, lovely relationships started and others repaired. I believe this stuff works with all my heart.
And yet, for a moment on that platform, I was a child again, blushing because I was getting too much attention and it wasn’t ‘nice” just to enjoy it. I am not alone. Many people have difficulty accepting compliments and other nice things because they learned things very early that discouraged acceptance of praise. They were shamed or blamed or whatever. It really doesn’t matter – what matters is that we can change our thinking and change our lives.
In workshops, I like to help people increase their self-esteem by paying attention and accepting compliments. I teach them to never throw a compliment back by saying, “You must be crazy!” or “This old dress? I bought it at the Thrift Shop for a dollar.” Instead, they learn to smile and say, “Thank you.”
A wonderful exercise is to pay attention and repeat the compliment gracefully in your own words. For example, “Thanks, I’m glad you liked the report, I worked hard on it.” Or, “Thanks, I like this also. Blue is my favorite color.” Keep it natural and easy. Try to resist returning a compliment with a compliment because it makes the giver seem to have been fishing for compliments himself. It is also a common way to deflect your receptivity.
The good thing about repeating a compliment in your own words is that it helps the giver feel heard, understood and appreciated. It also helps you embed the good stuff in your brain and heart because, most of all, we believe our own voices. When we repeat a compliment we receive, we give ourselves a double whammy of joy. We also please the giver.
Accepting and keeping the compliment gives pleasure to both the giver and receiver. Rejecting the compliment makes the giver feel silly or disappointed. It’s like receiving a bouquet of flowers and throwing them in the trash. Not a good move if you want to receive more flowers.
I used to have major self-esteem issues and I learned several tricks that helped me put the Law of Attraction to work in my life. I kept a compliment diary for a while. I also kept letters and cards from readers and church people to reread and enjoy on my foggy days. You could do that with your birthday and Christmas cards also.
Are you accepting or rejecting the nice things people say about you? Are you even noticing the compliments? Your journal can help you discover any reasons you might be rejecting them. Knowledge can be helpful but remember that no matter what happened in the past, you are in charge today.
Even if you learned that attention was dangerous then, you are no longer a child and it can be pleasurable now. You are the sole architect of your life, working with inexorable spiritual laws. You are powerful and you are loved – all the time.
Once you discover that the Love of God is working through Law, your history of abuse will atrophy. Self-esteem issues become nonsense. No matter how difficult the past was, you can have joy today. Learning to accept compliments and other good things because you are using the Power of the Universe is a key concept that truly can change your life.
Dare to retrain your mind! Dare to dream! Dare to choose joy! Dare to open to the Good! Dare to be happy! Dare to be your best self!
Do I accept compliments well?
How’s my self-esteem?
Do I want to attract more good?
Is there any suggestion here that I will try?
Should I take a class in Love and Law?
Did you ever go to a party and talk about it with your friends the next day? Did it seem as though it was a different event? One friend loved the party and another hated it. Seems as if everyone wears his own tinted glasses.
The fortunate person who grows up believing she lives in a friendly universe enjoys the party. The one who grew up with critical messages doesn’t have much fun. Same party – different party.
In New Thought we believe every person has a mental atmosphere (consciousness) that constantly sends messages out to Universal Mind. The beliefs return to us as experiences, effects or conditions.
A person who believes the world is a lovely place attracts love. On the other hand, the person who believes it is a scary place will attract trouble. Your beliefs create the good news or the bad news. The very best news of all is that you can change your beliefs.
In the first chapter of the Science of Mind Textbook, the founder of Religious Science, Dr. Ernest Holmes says, “To learn how to think is to learn how to live.” Every Sunday, the speaker in a Center For Positive Living, delivers a talk that includes some version of “Change your thinking and change your life.”
One way or another, if we want a condition to change, we must do something so that our attitude toward the issue changes. In a way that is simple. On the other hand, it is a lifetime work.
While none of us is able to control every bit of our lives, we do need to know that we have a great deal more control than most people used to believe. The first time I heard about our thoughts creating our life experiences, I thought it was nonsense. Those who are growing up now are more familiar with ideas of how positive living can impact our lives.
When I was a teen, Ernest Holmes was just hitting his stride. Oprah wasn’t born. I don’t think I knew anyone who believed we lived in a friendly universe. We had just finished a devastating war and most people were frightened there would be another one. But enough people changed their minds so that the Cold War ended with a fizzle, not a bang.
I knew life wasn’t the movies but I dreamed big dreams. I would someday be thirty-five, live in New York City and be a working girl. The term “working girl” meant something quite different in those days and while my dream job was vague, my dream apartment was quite specific and wonderful with white rugs and two white poodles.
Because I dared to dream and because I worked hard, I did eventually end up in New York City but it wasn’t exactly what I’d dreamed. I shared a rent-controlled apartment with an aging, divorcee. Ah well! I never liked poodles anyway.
It took me a long time to change my mind but I am now happier than I could have dreamed as a child. I now believe that we live in a basically friendly universe. My God is a God of unlimited possibility.
So much of what we believe is from the surrounding culture and we are not even always aware of it. We must learn to be independent thinkers. And we must learn to be aware of what we are thinking and what beliefs we are acting upon. We need to remember the law of cause and effect is always working.
Many years ago, I read a chapter in a self-help book on how spiritual law always responds. The chapter was entitled, You Will Always Get The Raise.
The author told a story about a man who worked hard and had a great attitude, but he was overlooked for the raise he deserved. However, this good worker continued his efforts and he was offered an even better job in a different company.
We don’t always get the pay off in exactly the way we envision because our vision is limited. The Law of Attraction is Infinite Power and Infinite Possibility. We should never despair because we will always get what we think we deserve.
To see how the Law of Attraction works, take a look at repeating patterns in the lives of people you know well. Don’t judge or criticize, just observe. After you have done that, your next step is to look at your own repeating patterns without judgment.
Now look again and find some success stories where things have turned around. Perhaps you or someone else has had several unsuccessful relationships and then established an excellent one. If you look closely, you will probably see that something in the belief system changed first.
It may look like fate or luck but change in patterns is because of changed beliefs. This is true in every area of our lives. Accept that you are loveable and Universal Mind will find a way to return the new love and joy. Accept that you deserve to be acknowledged and you will get the promotion. And so it goes.
You will always get the raise, although it may be in a surprising way and not from that old situation.
The concept that the spiritual law of cause and effect returns your prevailing belief is very different than the rules you learned about being a good little boy or girl. Working with spiritual laws opens people’s lives up to unlimited possibility.
You are truly in a position to prove the phrase, Change your thinking and change your life.” Right now. If you have been around Science of Mind for a while, think back to how you were feeling when you first arrived and compare that to how you feel now. You will discover change for the better.
Even if you are new, you can prove this very quickly. Decide on a goal, and do spiritual work around the issue of belief. Keep records and notes for a month, then check you data. One reason Science of Mind is called science is that it is verifiable.
While you can’t change everything overnight or even in a month, you can test it and observe progress. Even better, practice makes perfect. As you learn that you can change your thinking a bit at a time for the rest of your life, it gets easier.
How do you change your thinking? You may find affirmation cards helpful to carry in your pocket and review several times a day. You should think about taking a class and going to church on Sunday. You can buy my book, Science of Mind Skills, on this website by going to New Thought Works page.
Most of us get a much narrower and tighter view of life as children than we discover for ourselves as we become adults. You can change your mind. You are never stuck. You do have choices.
Even if you encounter resistance breaking out of your early belief system, you can do it. Remind yourself that millions have done it before you. Continue your practice and risk putting some effort into changing your thinking. Remember that all effort will be rewarded. You will always get the raise.
What’s one belief you’ve changed?
What’s one belief you want to change?
What’s one great prevailing belief you have?